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#PLAYBOY THE MANSION PC GAME BROKEN MANUAL#
So horrible that not only is it blatantly unfinished, it apparently (unfortunately I don't have a copy here) included a bit in the manual about how evil forces steal games and release them prematurely. In similarly disconnected style, here's Leather Goddesses of Phobos' funniest joke.Įven ignoring this completely justified petulance, Leather Goddesses of Phobos 2: Gas Pump Girls Meet The Pulsating Inconvenience From Planet X is horrible. Then they return from the dead and just cheerfully get on with the quest. Almost every major new location features them getting annihilated or facing death in some way, their demise always met with the same ponderous speech about how you "hang your head in sorrow for a moment to honor your brave, loyal companion who gave his/her life that humanity might be safe from the terrible scourge of the Leather Goddesses of Phobos." Probably the most original gag though is that while Leather Goddesses of Phobos isn't too sadistic by the standards of the time (although you can very, very easily end up in unwinnable situations), Trent/Tiffany can't keep their heads on their bodies for more than five minutes. She starts off acute, and ends up a cutie. At one point you meet a princess who's been turned into an angle by King Midas. Much of the exploration of Mars takes place via canals, where you'll end up putting in at Donald Dock and Wattz-Upp Dock.
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The humour itself is very Hitch-Hiker's Guide To The Galaxy, with a bit more punning. Gather eight basically random items, trying to get into the mindset of a designer who'd have you get a blender by kissing a magic frog, find a way to the endgame location, win. You immediately escape by simply opening the door, join forces with another prisoner called Trent/Tiffany who Has A Plan, and then bop your way around Mars, Venus and Cleveland on a pretty standard Shopping List Quest. The premise is that you're just a regular guy or girl heading to a bar (brilliantly, you choose by going into either the Gents or the Ladies at the start of the game when you need to pee) who gets abducted by the titular and named-in-the-title Leather Goddesses of Phobos, who promptly stick you in a metal bikini/skimpy loincloth and throw you into prison. I've played a lot of text adventures, but this one I found a confused mess both back in the day and replaying it just now. I'll be honest, I don't like this game much. Finally, if you did buy it and were promptly horrified to discover that a game called Leather Goddesses of Phobos was a bit mucky, you could turn off all the adult content and play in either Tame or Suggestive mode like a great big wuss.
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Its commitment to maturity included packing in a Scratch-and-Sniff card. It was so mild, magazines gave it away as a subscriber gift. It was just a silly sci-fi adventure with a bit of sex in it, pastiching old adventure serials. Unlike Softporn Adventure, it didn't have naked women on the cover, and it was primarily sold as comedy-a genre where you can get away with far, far more. Leather Goddesses of Phobos had an obvious advantage here: it was text-based, and complaining about mucky writing aimed at adults went out of fashion with Lady Chatterley's Lover. Sometimes though, it's not, and perfectly decent games like The Witcher or Playboy: The Mansion find themselves condemned without so much as a fair trial. As a general rule, gamers are pretty conservative about this stuff, instantly assuming that anything that tries to play the sex card is doing so because it has nothing else to offer. If it did, Evony would be the new World of Warcraft, Lara Croft would long-since have hung up her bra in favour of some newcomer like FAKK2, and no Fox News staff would have had a mental breakdown at glimpsing a pair of blue buttocks in Mass Effect. More specifically, about whether sex sells PC games.